Sunday night. Dallas, Texas.
Dear Friend,
I am writing this at my kitchen table because I want to tell you how this company got started, and I want to tell it to you straight.
Three of us were on Ozempic. Group chat going day and night. Weight falling off, jeans fitting, food noise gone. Wonderful. Except for one small detail nobody warned us about.
Nothing was moving.
I mean nothing. Six days for me at the worst of it. Lying flat on my back at 3 in the morning with my hands on my stomach, doing the math. Was it Tuesday? Sunday?
Now pay attention, because what I learned next is the whole reason this product exists.
We tried everything the internet told us to try. Metamucil went in, soaked up every drop of water in the neighborhood, and set up like wet cement in a closed pipe. MiraLAX poured water on the pile and the pile just sat there sloshing. High dose magnesium oxide? Ask me about my mornings sometime. And the stimulant laxatives had us cramped over and coming back like a bad habit.
Here is why none of it worked.
These meds slow your whole system down on purpose. That is how they quiet your appetite. Your stomach empties slower. The muscles that squeeze everything along go quiet. Less bile, fewer enzymes. The whole crew that moves freight through your gut got sent home for the season.
And every product on the shelf kept loading more freight on the dock.
More fiber cannot fix a missing crew.
So we built the thing we could not buy. Hired a registered dietitian, a GI nurse practitioner, and a formulator who spent years on prescription motility drugs. Told them the stick had four jobs to do.
Job one. Acacia fiber. Soft bulk that stays soft in a slow gut instead of curing into concrete.
Job two. Magnesium citrate with sea salt, potassium, and calcium, to pull water back into a system the meds dried out.
Job three. A spore probiotic called Bacillus coagulans. Tough enough to live through stomach acid, and it gets to work on the fermenting food behind those sulfur burps.
Job four. Bovine collagen with niacinamide, because backed up waste is rough on your gut lining and the lining needs raw material to repair itself.*
The first testers were the three of us. Then a handful of people we knew. The next 500 were friends of friends, every one of them on a GLP-1. By month three there was a waitlist of 5,000 people. By month six we had a 4.9 star average and a real company on our hands.
Our rules are short and we do not break them. No stimulant laxatives. No caffeine dressed up as gut health. One stick a day in a glass of cold water, peach mango, and if it is not for you, you cancel in one click.
That is the whole story.
Stay regular,
The founders of glpoop
P.S. If you are on one of these meds and you are reading this at 3:12 in the morning with your hands on your stomach, you are exactly who we made this for.
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.